It all starts with what seems like a chummy, throw-away joke.
Nigel Pearson is conspiratorially bemoaning the harsh media treatment Leicester have received all season following their loss to Chelsea, when reporter Ian Baker questions what criticisms exactly he objects to.
The comeback seems initially jokey: “Well Ian, have you been on holiday for six months?”
The assembled press pack chuckles politely. And that’s where the camaraderie ends.
Pearson quickly follows up: “Have you? Have you been away? For six months?”
Clearly this is a more serious question than it first appeared. Baker chooses not to discuss his holiday plans with the Leicester manager, but instead presses his point, saying he’s not sure what specific criticism Pearson is referring to.
At this point Pearson goes full-on David Brent.
David Brent interviews Nigel Pearson #Ostrich #OstrichGate @HuffPostUKCom pic.twitter.com/GZBxxWJqWj
— Brent & The Office (@DavidBrentMusic) April 30, 2015
“Well I think you must have been either ‘head in the clouds’, away on holiday or reporting on a different team,” he says.
What’s notable is the total disconnect between what Pearson is saying and what everyone else perceives the reality to be. The general perception is not that Leicester have been harshly treated, and the audience of reporters is palpably not on his side.
Maybe this is what spurs Pearson on.
He says: “If you don’t know the answer to that question I think your question is absolutely … unbelievable.”
Pearson takes more than five seconds to come up with the word “unbelievable”. After the mammoth pause, when it comes, the word is a bit of a let-down. But the Leicester boss has something up his sleeve, a trump card. He follows it up with: “If you don’t know the answer to that question then I think you are an ostrich.”
Okay, that was unexpected.
Perhaps worrying that his point sounds a little obscure, Pearson moves to clarify why the journalist is in fact a large, flightless bird. “Your head must be in the sand.” Then warming to his theme: “Is your head in the sand?”
And that’s where it starts to get weird: “Are you flexible enough to get your head in the sand? My suspicion would be no.” And with a look of some satisfaction: “I can, you can’t.”
Pearson presents this as absolutely the winning point, as if what was being discussed all along was not the validity of any criticism Leicester may have received this season, but which man was more flexible; as if that proves once and for all and beyond contradiction that Pearson is the better guy. As if the measure of a man, that we’ve been missing all this time, is whether or not he’s flexible enough to bury his head in the sand.
What exactly has Pearson been doing that makes him so flexible? And anyway, if Pearson is flexible enough to put his head in the sand and Baker is not, isn’t it Pearson who’s the ostrich in this equation? Hasn’t he just invalidated his own obscure point, whatever it was?
I'm not sure being "flexible" enough to get your head in the sand is quite the achievement Nigel Pearson thinks it is. Just kneel down.
— Rory Smith (@RorySmithTimes) April 30, 2015
And then, as the Leicester press officer tries to wrap up the session, Pearson repeats, with a shake of the head: “You can’t.” Just in case the journalist was thinking of giving it a go.
You can imagine Pearson believes this to be the most withering put-down of all time, that this is the most chastening experience of Baker’s professional career.
Pearson is in his element now. “You’ve been here often enough,” he says. “For you to ask that question you’re either being very, very silly or you’re being absolutely stupid. One of the two.”
There’s only one person being very, very silly in this equation, Nigel – and it’s the guy banging on about ostriches.
Source: SNAPPA
